The Spit Bucket

Fearfully Wonderfully Dysfunctional

Messed Up Families in the Bible

I once read a T-shirt that read, “the only normal people are those you don’t know”. And it’s true. Family Trees are usually of the nutty variety, mine being no exception.  We've survived alcoholism, depression, drug abuse,  compulsive behaviors, enablers, and one husband who can never remember where he put his car keys.
But what are we supposed to expect?  Families have been dysfunctional since the get-go. The only set of parents God hand created—Adam and Eve—ended up having one son that killed the other. And from then on, it was mayhem. Brothers selling their youngest brother into slavery (Joseph), a drunken father sleeping with his daughter (Noah), a fanatically faithful father willing to kill his son for God (Abraham), and the list goes on. By golly, I can’t think of one family in the Bible that didn’t suffer from dysfunction. Can you?
I don’t know what’s weirder—the stories in the Bible about messed up families or the ones I hear from friends in city. Like  a divorced lesbian mother recovering alcoholic who started drinking at the age of 10 when forced to bury dead kitties drowned by a sexually abusive neighbor. A former co-worker with a fear of ketchup and other condiments.  An elderly aunt who keeps her garbage in the refrigerator.  And the one that takes the cake--believers who think  their families are supposed to be perfect and are ashamed when they are not.  Face it--we are all an episode away from starring on Jerry Springer.
Take the dysfunctional challenge
I challenge you Bible thumpers out there—if you can find one story in the Bible about a non-dysfunctional family—whether it be the Cleavers of Canaan or the Simpsons of Samaria, please blog it below. And while the Bible contains a lot of good stories about dysfunction, another book is Running With Scissors. 
In the meantime, embrace your genetic weirdness.  It'll make you closer to God in the long run.

Fearfully Wonderfully Dysfunctional

Messed Up Families in the Bible

I once read a T-shirt that read, “the only normal people are those you don’t know”. And it’s true. Family Trees are usually of the nutty variety, mine being no exception.  We've survived alcoholism, depression, drug abuse,  compulsive behaviors, enablers, and one husband who can never remember where he put his car keys.
But what are we supposed to expect?  Families have been dysfunctional since the get-go. The only set of parents God hand created—Adam and Eve—ended up having one son that killed the other. And from then on, it was mayhem. Brothers selling their youngest brother into slavery (Joseph), a drunken father sleeping with his daughter (Noah), a fanatically faithful father willing to kill his son for God (Abraham), and the list goes on. By golly, I can’t think of one family in the Bible that didn’t suffer from dysfunction. Can you?
I don’t know what’s weirder—the stories in the Bible about messed up families or the ones I hear from friends in city. Like  a divorced lesbian mother recovering alcoholic who started drinking at the age of 10 when forced to bury dead kitties drowned by a sexually abusive neighbor. A former co-worker with a fear of ketchup and other condiments.  An elderly aunt who keeps her garbage in the refrigerator.  And the one that takes the cake--believers who think  their families are supposed to be perfect and are ashamed when they are not.  Face it--we are all an episode away from starring on Jerry Springer.
Take the dysfunctional challenge
I challenge you Bible thumpers out there—if you can find one story in the Bible about a non-dysfunctional family—whether it be the Cleavers of Canaan or the Simpsons of Samaria, please blog it below. And while the Bible contains a lot of good stories about dysfunction, another book is Running With Scissors. 
In the meantime, embrace your genetic weirdness.  It'll make you closer to God in the long run.

Tis the Season for Teen Moms

I admit. I don’t have much of a social life. My big event is on Saturdays, my 5 am laundry club. (OK, so I’m a Type A). The group consists of Elaine, the World’s biggest Cub Fan, and Ray, a sixty-year-old gay who is the best sheet folder on the planet. While we usually talk about news affecting our building, the conversations  will ultimately end on “So what are you doing this weekend?” Elaine is either going to a game or to Michigan. Ray always goes to cool restaurants, museums and the latest movies. I nosh on free samples at Costco. But Ray’s the one who tipped me off to Juno. If you haven’t heard the buzz by now in your laundry mat, Juno is comedy about a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant.
At first the notion of the movie turned me off. How could Hollywood laugh at the epidemic
I devote so much of my life to?
That’s why cashed in the crispy $5 found in my April fresh jeans to see the movie.
90 minutes worth of pregnancy
While Hollywood’s 90 minute version of teen pregnancy is amusing over a tub of popcorn, the life-long version featuring Tamika, Erica, Joy, Melissa, Marie, isn’t much of a knee slapper. The movie covers a multitude of tuff topics: the reaction of Juno’s father, the reaction of her boyfriend; abortion, adoption; and finally the question, just what characteristics make up a good mom?
I do recommend seeing Juno and drag your pastor with you. While the language isn’t the best, but you’ve probably heard worse hauling kids home in your church van. There are no bumping and grinding scenes.  Juno doesn’t promote teen sex; it deals with the reality of it. That’s something the church needs to do.
As Christians, we can’t make the ruling teens make lousy parents.
Okay, maybe Brittney's kid sister isn't a role model, but I know of a teen mom named Mary with a little guy named Jesus.  She did a pretty good job. And we have to take the lead on this issue. If we tell young girls to choose life, we better be there to help them once they do.  More on teen moms in the news.