Unhappy holidays

Sexual abuse during the holidays

OK, we all have days in December when there seems to be more coal in our mental stockings than tidings of good joy. But dreading the holidays is a whole different level to victims of sexual abuse. Over the years, I’ve heard testimonies of several survivors of sexual abuse…survivors who count on Christ to overcome the trauma of their past. While details of their stories differ, one remained the same—many of these ladies were abused at holiday get-togethers. A visiting grandparent or uncle or cousin would take advantage of a young child, getting their personal jollies year after year.
And what’s a kid to do? Whether threatened verbally or with a knife, a small child is at the mercy of their assaulter. The child may not recognize sexual advances for what they are. She/he may look at the relative as an all-knowing authority figure, being afraid to question the adult’s actions.  And if it goes on a while, the child can fear telling her/his parents, feeling responsible for actions that were out of her/his hands.
1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.

While I am no Dr. Phil, I know the impact of sexual abuse cannot be under estimated. It robs a person of self esteem, leaving shame and pain in its place. One’s sexual image gets as distorted as their reflection in a funny mirror at the circus. And what should be the happiest time of the year will forever be associated with bad memories. All the time, friends can’t understand why they avoid the holiday mistletoe.

While there is no stocking stuffer that can remove the pain of sexual abuse, there are some things you can do:

• Help the victim create new holiday traditions. Instead of focusing on ghosts of Christmas past, do something new and memorable in your outreach program.
• Act out parities of your favorite holiday commercials, from the Chia Pet to the Clapper.
• Sing Christmas Carols in Pig Latin.
• Decorate a tree using only recycled items.
• Hang stockings in your youth center, stuffing each with words of encouragement.
• And finally, if going home is a painful holiday experience for someone you know, have an extra seat at your table.

You’ll also want to bookmark these Sexual Abuse/Assault websites:
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) deals with rape and sexual assault. You’ll find useful info there, from statistics to a 24/7 hotline:  1.800.656.HOPE

Darkness2Light deals with sexual abuse and children. Be sure to read the 7 Steps to Protecting Our Children

If a youth confides in you regarding sexual abuse
It’s your obligation to report it. While laws vary state to state, start by contacting a child advocacy center near you. Visit the National Children's Alliance or call 1-800-239-9950.

Above all, keep the youth in your program in your prayer, especially during the holiday season.